A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
