i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
