This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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