you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
