Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
