On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
