Kiss
Puke
Say something about gay babies.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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