And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
