Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
