k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
