yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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