the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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