Me too!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
