I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
