it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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