Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you never un-have a 4some
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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