if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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