I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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