At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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