I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize