a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The air taste purple.
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