why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
