i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Quick, to the slutcave!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize