then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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