god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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