I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
