Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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