I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
