drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
