i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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