Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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