He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
