White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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