In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
