Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
