The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
