You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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