he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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