sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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