I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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