He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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