I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can I color on your dick again?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
