Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
