Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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