Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
