Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
