Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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