You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have aggressive nipples.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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