; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
