Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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