new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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