fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
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Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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