like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
