I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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