I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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