you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching