If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
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You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dick very happy bro