i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.