i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.