I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?