Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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