I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
