Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
