Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
