Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
