Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
